( playing jazzy tune )
( screaming )
Squidward, we love you!
Everybody, it's Squidward! You're my favorite!
( Squidward laughing )
( alarm ringing )
( foghorn blares )
All right, all right.
Time for another hideous day at work.
Uh, just hang in there, gorgeous.
( plays note )
Your star will shine at the clarinet recital tomorrow.
( chuckles )
Time for another glorious day at work.
Good morning, Squidward.
And isn't it a lovely morning?
Why are you playing the clarinet
on your way to work?
l'm practicing for my clarinet recital.
Soon all of Bikini Bottom
will recognize the talent that is Squidward Tentacles.
Good-bye, SpongeBoob.
See you at The Krusty Krab, Squidward.
Hey Sandy... what's this?
Well, this here's my new matter transporter.
lt can move things from one place to another
in the blink of an eye.
Ooh, that sounds fancy.
Let me show you how it works.
Whoa!
Where'd it go?
Just where you think it would be.
( gasps ): Oh!
Uh-oh, I'm late for work.
Think your machine could zap me over to The Krusty Krab?
Always did want to try a critter.
Sure, why not?
Get in there, SpongeBob.
Whoo-hoo!
Hold on tight.
SPONGEBOB: Gee, Sandy, this sure feels...
( jabbering )
Well, here we go again.
Hey, Thkwidward.
( laughs )
What's going on with this thing?
( screaming )
What in tarnation? ( gasps )
Hi, Sandy!
I'm not sure what it is,
but something seems different about me.
Yeah... me, too.
Hey, what're you doing with my hand?
What... what am I doing with your hand?
( Squidward screams )
What is this?
We're all mixed up together.
( straining )
This is horrible.
I have my clarinet recital tomorrow.
Oh, it's not so bad, Squidward.
Now we can be best buddies and do everything together forever.
( screams )
Sandy, was this your doing?
You've got to get us separated.
Well, I wish I knew how.
Well, you have to do something.
I can't stay stuck to him.
Hmm, I wonder what would happen
if I tried zapping you back in the transporter?
Uh, yeah, good idea... Let's do it.
Well, here goes nothing.
( zinging )
TEACHER: All right, children,
today is Timmy's birthday.
You know what that means.
Ready, Timmy?
( strange moaning )
( teacher and Timmy screaming )
Congratulations, Mrs. Smith.
You gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
May I see my baby?
Of course. ( zinging )
( screaming )
I've been in love with you
ever since I first laid my eye on you.
Hey, baby, what's your name?
It's no use, Sandy.
We're still the same.
Well, that's a darn shame.
You know what?
I was working on the blueprints for a new invention,
but it's still in the embryonic stage.
Try anything!
I cannot go to my clarinet recital like this.
I'll continue working on it.
ln the meantime, you boys keep your heads up.
Together forever.
Misery.
SpongeBob, hasn't anybody taught you how to ride a bike?
Don't worry, I'll drive.
Ow! Ow!
SpongeBob! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
I got to lay off the hot sauce.
( crashing )
What in blazes is going on in here?
Oh, hi, Mr. Krabs.
What are you two doing laying around?
Get to work!
If you say so.
Egad! What happened to you?
Uh, I don't want to know.
Just go do your jobs.
Aye, aye, Cap'n!
Do you have to be such an accommodating buffoon?
Squidward, everybody knows I'm a sponge.
I look nothing like a balloon.
I don't have time for this.
I got to man the cash register.
( straining )
Whew!
Can I help you?
Can I get two Krabby Patties, please?
SQUIDWARD: SpongeBob, I need two Krabby Patties.
Two Krabby Patties coming right up.
I can't reach the bun.
SpongeBob, what's the hold up?
S-Sorry, Mr. Krabs, I'm on it.
Time is money, boy.
Time is money, right.
( struggling )
Hello, bun, at last we meet.
( screams )
( horrific scream )
And now for...
( both screaming )
All right, that's it.
l can't afford you jeopardizing me business.
You two are more trouble than you're worth.
And don't come back until you get this problem sorted out.
SPONGEBOB: Look on the bright side, Squidward.
At least we still have each other.
That's how we got in this predicament
in the first place, you imbecile!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like a moment of peace.
( starts playing clarinet )
Whoa! Rock on, freaky bro.
SQUIDWARD: Sandy! Sandy!
Please tell me you've figured out a way to separate us.
Say hello to the molecular separator ray.
Hello, molecular separator ray.
Well, let's get on with it.
My clarinet recital is tomorrow night.
Uh, well, I'm not quite done with it yet.
What'd you say?
I'm still putting it together.
At best I'll have it ready,
uh... day after tomorrow maybe?
What? Day after tomorrow?
No, no, no, no!
I have a performance tomorrow.
I can't be stuck to that yellow freak.
Sandy, please... you got to do it before the show.
Well, uh, I suppose...
I'll have it ready before you go on.
( straining )
SQUIDWARD: Of course.
Oh, my.
Where are you Sandy?
Sandy?
I can't do it, I can't go out there.
Squidward... this is your moment,
the story you will tell
when you look back as a... superstar.
Superstar?
Now go out there and give them
the best darned show they've ever seen.
You're right... The show must go on.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlefish,
Bikini Bottom's community rec center
is proud to present Squidward Tentacles.
( applause )
( crowd oohing )
( playing soulful tune )
Honey, I'm scared.
( continues playing )
( murmuring )
( fabric ripping )
Oh!
( audience gasps )
Uh-oh.
Uh... hi.
Whoa!
( laughs )
Rock on, freaky bro.
Yeah! Whoo!
Whoa, look at them.
( murmuring )
( cheering and whistling )
Wow, they really liked it.
( laughing ): There you go, Squiddy.
( cheering )
They... they... they're cheering.
Superstardom... this must be what it feels like.
This is what it looks like,
what it... sounds like,
and... ( inhales deeply ) what it smells like.
Wow, simply intoxicating.
Whoo-whee! Well, there you boys are.
Looks like I'm just in time.
Sandy?
One blast
of this molecular separator ray,
and you'll be separated for good.
No, no wait... Sandy, don't.
( zinging )
( crowd gasps )
Uh... Um.. ( disappointed grumbling )
MALE FISH: They lost me.
( clears throat )
( playing clarinet discordantly )
Ugh!
I think I'm going to be sick.
Aah, I'm out of here.
Huh? No, wait, wait!
( disappointed groans )
Aw, come on.
( yammering )
Oh, my one moment of fame gone.
There's got to be some way to reverse this.
No, Squidward, that's a very sensitive device.
Squidward, I wouldn't...
So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
It all started when I was born.